一只罗子的独白

Happy Birthday, Yuji!

We all love you!

Since Hanqi gave up a biochemistry full scholarship PhD offer and decided to study Food Policy and Applied Nutrition in Tufts, the whole family is really upset about her decision, especially her grandfather, a professor teaching biochemistry in the hospital. He thought Hanqi betrayed the science world.

Scenario 1: One day, he asked Hanqi.

Grandfather: Hanqi, what are you going to learn in US
Hanqi: Nutrition
Grandfather: Sigh... After so many years education, you finally become a CHEF!
Hanqi: ...

After half an year studying in Friedman, Hanqi decided to focus on Humanitarian assistance.

Scenario 2： One day, her friend asked Hanqi

Friend: Hanqi, what are you learning in US?
Hanqi: Food Distribution
Friend: Are you delivering lunch boxes on the street
Hanqi: I want to bite you

Sometimes, it is hard to explain my major, especially for the people in my hometown. It is not typical Chinese majors, like previous popular majors: Math, statistics, CS, EE; or like now: business, economy, finance.
Sometimes, we ask ourselves: Why am I different from others?
The answer is： Why do you need to be the same as others?

My major, is like my parents I love, the friends I am proud of, religion and my life style. I can push myself to be nice, but I can not push myself to love. I enjoy myself to be "different" and I also enjoy myself to be "common", if the choice is deep from my heart.

Recently, I am under depression (if you did not find, I am hiding, haha) from some aspects of my life, so as some friends. A Chinese poet wrote, "if your heart is controlled by outside, why are you still surprised that you are miserable? "

One of my close friend quoted, "Love as often as you can. Dance like nobody's watching. Travel. Eat. Try new foods because, like my character says, you never know what's coming for you and when it's time to let go, you got to let go."

"When it's time to let go, you got to let go"

We will all overcome

Thanks for my friends who support me

1.I am not a communist and I DO NOT worship Chairman Mao Everyday. The only political organization I have ever joined is Youth Group. So, Crazy Alan, do not ask me the same question every time you are chatting with me.

2.I like drawing smile faces on oranges. It is my habit from high school. I used the face on orange to exchange the feeling with my "desk-sharing" classmate.

3.I admit I have low taste. And, I am proud of it. Human being is beautiful, being perfect is boring.

4.I grow up in an air force community with my grandmother. My parents visited me 10 days every 2 years in turn. Without my parents’ accompany, I still feel my childhood is very happy.

5.I applied Urdu, a Central Indo-Aryan language, as my first choice for college. I want to be a journalist in the War zone. However, I did not get admit. The reason they rejected me is too many girls applying and they want to balance the ration of boys and girls.

6.I feel very comfortable in Friedman. It is my safe zone.

7.I am more lazy than other people thought

8.I got nervous when I talk to people, especially in English. If you did not find I am nervous because I am hiding.

9.If you smile to me, I will walk closer to you
If you walk closer to you, I will run closer to you, haha

10.I did not expect I could make friends in Friedman school. But now I do!

11.I am OK to tea and I hate Chinese Medicine. When I was little, I got pneumonia. My mother gave antibiotic when she was there. But later my grandmother does not like western medicine, cut off my antibiotic and feed me with Chinese medicine. Then the pneumonia turned into severe lung infection. From that, I am not a herb person.

12.I got severe insomnia last semester. And it is still on this semester. I hope I could get sleep every night before 1:00 AM

13.Sometimes, I found the world is a mess.
Sometimes, I found what we do to the world is so limited
Sometimes, I found a little bit change is better than nothing
Sometimes, I found the little bit change might harm the local community. What they need is not what we provide; what we provide might bring harm to them
In all, the most important thing is to make you happy

14.I failed in calculus in college, the second time I took it I got a C. You can not get everything you want in your life

15.I like the man whose smile is warm and always walk outside of the road to keep me inside

16.I love my parents and they love me more. They think they owe me a lot because of the separation but I think, they do not

17.I have two facebooks. One is Chinese, the other is English. Everyday, I spent extra time on facebooks. And I log in gtalk all day long. It is a bad habit. I knew, but I never change.

18.I took many humanitarian classes in complex emergencies, though I do not know what it is even now. But I am keeping taking it and I do not know why.

19.I do not make HUGE Mistake, but I make small errors every day

20.I want to spend my summer in Sudan. If possible, I will not go back to China this summer. If back, my mother will beat me.

21.I got mad about my English. It did not improve although I have been in US for 7 months. I hope I could make progress this year

22.I felt very offended when some people unrealistically accuse China. However, it is only their personal opinion. My high school teacher told me “I do not agree with you, but I use my life to guard your right of speaking”

23.I love Tristy’s radio. After that, I decide to buy a radio for myself.

24.I lived with 5 other roommates in a single roommate for 4 year in college. I love and respect them a lot. One of my roommate from a remote village, never drink milk and touch computer before college. Every year, she got National Scholarship and work part time to cover all the expenses. Now she is a PhD in Chemistry. In my last day of college, she wrote my memory book: “you always bring me to your home, but I never bring you to my hometown; Every vacation I want to bring you there, but it is so poor, I am afraid you will judge me” I cried a lot on that.

25.My freshman year is a mess. I failed 2 classes, fought with family because of first bf and finally broke up with my first bf. Boys in my programs hate me (they became like me after 3 years), I hate my major Chemistry and because of my F in two classes I can not transfer. I screwed up the relation with family, made my study a mess, and wanted to quit school. Finally, I overcome it. From that, I think, I could record past, forget, and Move on

新年前夕，摘抄几段佳文，谨以此怀念

1、有的人活着.但他却死了.有的人死了.但她却活在人们的硬盘中。。　　
    她的一生是躺下去又站起来，再躺下去再站起来的一生，她累了，今天她永远的躺下去了……　　 　　

2、伟大的人体艺术家，室内竞技的佼佼者，宅男的偶像，著名的AV女优，饭岛爱小姐不幸身亡。　　  　　

3、耶酥这么多年来收到的最好的圣诞礼物！ 　　

二堤虾田：虽然这样的调侃方式对死者不尊重，但不得不承认这家伙太有才了　

4、 少不更事的时候看不懂AV，总带着生理冲动去看。随着年纪长大，才充分的体会到日本AV电影人的伟大以及他们艺术创作的艰辛。近些年再看AV，经常感动的 我热泪盈眶，并在看后引起我深深的思索。不是缺少美，而是缺少发现。很多人用色情的眼光去看待AV艺术，认为那完全只是低级的色情。其实只要用心，你就能 发现其中晦涩严肃的哲学命题和人文关怀。众所周知，日本AV电影的特点都是，女演员长的都很天使，很美很纯。而和她们演对手戏的男子，往往老丑委琐，让人 恶心。所以，AV的一个普遍的主题寓意于这样的角色安排之中。本来，日本人的民族性格就严肃唯美而又略显悲观，他们拍AV的目的不在于以色情内容取悦观 众，而是把一个人类永恒的真相用一种刺激残酷的方式表现出来。天使一样的女优，代表人类娇嫩脆弱的自由、尊严和理想。而欺辱她们的男人，很显然是暗示又老 又丑的命运。而AV电影结尾女主角往往被射在脸上，个人认为这应该是代表命运对人类尊严和品格的最无情的嘲弄与践踏。人生永远要被命运欺辱，每个人生下 来，心里的美好、纯真、高贵的东西都会在命运面前丧失殆尽。说到这里，大家对AV的悲剧性主题应该多少有所了解。日本AV的另外一个特点就是XX时女性的 叫声。从生理的角度这些非常消魂的叫声让人情不自禁的产生冲动。但是如果大家换一个方式，用我前文所描述的那种思维方式去听这种叫声，你就会有苍凉悲壮的 感受，以及对人类勇气由衷的敬佩之心。从叫声的角度，可以说，AV电影是另外一种形式的《老人与海》，你可以欺辱我，但是你永远不能阻止我呻吟的权力。 人，生下来，就意味呻吟。

罗子语：最后一个很令我感动。如果你看过饭岛同学的自传，你会明白。一个优资学生，因为受不了父母的体罚和精神折磨，堕落，当AV女，最后在主持界有了自己一片天，终于和父母和解，得到了对方的谅解。最终却已死亡收场

贴个视频上去，很感人的故事。

  这个故事和饭岛同学的共同点是，他们告诉了我们，You Can Shine. 无论是聋子学小提琴还是丑小鸭演AV

晚安，孩子们